I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
