shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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