so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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