I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
