just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
