she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
this will be a night to untag.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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