Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
