i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
she looked like the before picture.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
