god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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