Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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