Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
not ubering you a puppy
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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