Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
