Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
