At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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