you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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