when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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