If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
