and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
