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how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize