dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
