Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
How's work?
Spinning.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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