During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
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