Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
