Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
