just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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