in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
