Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
