Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
