Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize
