im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
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