I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
