so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
