I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
