got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
