I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
