i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
