u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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