i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
