it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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