Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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