I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
