He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
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