Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
