She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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