Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Randomize
