I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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