i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Randomize
