Umm I'm too high to move.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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