Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
