I hope mine doesn't look like that
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
