I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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