need another drink. this is the easiest way
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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