You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
